Art therapy is the shit, (if anything is at this point…)

The practice sketches I was working on when my dad died. I decided to finish the artwork, rather than toss it.

On the evening of my dad’s death, I was drawing. I was practicing facial expressions, like I do every night, and I usually throw them away, but this night was different. What I drew on this night reminded me of what I gave my dad for Father’s Day last year… it had similar faces, but it was drawn on canvas. I thought about that for a moment on that night, and I thought it was really strange to make that connection… I checked my phone to make sure that my ringer was on. When the phone rang, I shouted, “I knew it.” I had some weird feeling that my daddy was going to die and I had been having that feeling for more than a month. (And now I’ve just realized that I will never have a Father’s Day again with my dad. 😭)

Last year’s Father Day present for my dad

Even though my daddy was sick for more than 6 1/2 years with kidney failure, I never really thought that he would die. He was the strongest man I know and he never gave up. He was not a quitter. In fact, I get that trait from him. I didn’t realize how close he was to the end, or I didn’t want to believe it, and I was completely unaware of how many pills he was taking in order to remain here with us.

My inner child

I feel like a little girl, the child I was so many years ago. Death has crept into every cell ofmy body, and it has engulfed me. I’ve lost so much in the last couple years that I am starting to feel picked on, like this shit ain’t fair. But why, of all people, did I lose my dad? I’ll never understand.

Prototype for Inner Child Artist

I also received my prototype copy of Inner Child Artist, and I photographed it that night.

So ironic that I will be writing the guidebook for it as I’m trying to heal my inner child who, is missing her daddy!

Art is all I have left. I wonder when that will be taken away?


Life can be hard. So hard.

❤️ Shilo

Published by CooptyLew Art and Tarot

I strongly believe in the power of art and the Tarot for emotional healing and wellness, and it is my ultimate passion, as an artist, to teach others how to use these resources in this way. I create to connect. I connect to myself through artistic expression and I connect to others through hearing their stories and sharing my vision. Art has been my healing modality, and also the thing that brings me closer to the essence of who I am. I also love card decks, both tarot and oracle, and I have a huge collection! They speak seductively to the artist in me, and I'm fascinated by the intersection of art, spirituality, and psychology that exists within them.

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