The Slow Tarot

I did the Dearly Departed Spread for my dad. It turned out amazing! And so brutally on point.

1- Purpose in life: Magician (My mom’s birth card): “My purpose was to manifest every single one of your mother’s wants and needs that could be wanted or needed under the sun…”

2- What was I to learn from your life? Six of cups: “You learned everything that means or has ever meant anything to you relating to your past, your childhood, and every one of your memories;” “How something was beautiful once…;” (this card represents nostalgia- anything that awakens certain feelings in you, such as music, anything with which you strongly identify yourself with, but it also represents everything in the past and nothing in the present nor the future)

3- What was I to learn from your death? Two of Pentacles: “Learn resilience, the ability to stay afloat no matter what the waves are doing because many things in life can’t be controlled but resilience is equal to balance and balance is a feeling that is accompanied by joy.”

4- What was the reason for your death? Emperor: ”All work and no play… I was a worldly man representing power, ambition, and strength;” the emperor wears the Ankh, the Egyptian symbol for eternal life; “I always did what I thought best served my family;” “the bigger picture – the greater good – the highest purpose”

5- How can I use what I have gained from you? 10 of Cups: “You need to create a literal picture of happiness;” this is not only a divine blessing but a divine promise for complete emotional fulfillment; this card represents “the Lord of perfected success”

6- What do you want me to know? Sun: “I have unshakable faith in your ability to succeed;” “A thorough understanding of one’s intuitive insights leads to complete mastery of one’s universe;” “the collecting intelligence”

7- What is your greatest memory? Knight of Swords: the chase; “Once I set my heart on something there’s no stopping me; I have a pure heart, but a pure heart is not always a big heart”

8- What is something you need that I can do? 4 of Pentacles: “The universe is about to bless you with wealth. Use it wisely. Save it if you can.”

9- How do you see me? Chariot: “Rags to riches;” “You have overcome all obstacles, even learned to master your own emotions, and have shown an ability to control forces of nature”

10- Advice, wisdom, or a secret for me? Queen of Cups: “I promise you will find love, happiness, and success. You are a person who thinks with her heart, a nurturer, a caretaker. Animals and small children radiate to you. Your inner beauty manifests itself in your creativity. Your time to be happy has come”

11- How can I contact you? Devil: “Embody your Capricorn energy to face your demons. When you are trapping yourself, reach for me.”

12- Final words: Ace of Cups: “Remember that life is a gift. Focus on the energy that brings pure joy. I am here to comfort you, allowing you to face any challenge without fear.”

Just. Wow.

I mean so much wow that it took me over a month to be able to take it from my notes and transcribe it to my website! Sometimes the Tarot freaks me the fuck out on how accurate it can be in such a very, very personal way. There are 78 cards in a deck, and with reversals, that means that there are 156 possible ways that the cards can present themselves for a single card question.

Oh my God! That just totally brought back a memory…

When my dad was in the ICU during the last week of his life, I pulled cards. I have never mentioned this to anyone because I dared to ask a question about if he would be coming home again from the hospital? I was mad at myself for even asking! And it’s because I didn’t get anything that I liked from the spread!

Here are my notes from the spread:

First Draw: Ace of Cups (reversed) and King of Cups

In a reversed position, The Ace of Cups card generally indicates sadness, pain or blocked/repressed emotions. It can also signify that you may receive some bad or upsetting news. This card reversed may indicate that you’ll find that you are not in the mood for socializing or meeting new people. It can mean cancelled social events or cancelled celebrations, like a broken engagement or cancelled wedding. It can also be a sign that people around you may be reacting to you in a negative way or may have ill will towards you.

The King of Cups represents kindness, compassion and wisdom. This card indicates that you will be finding the balance between your mind and your heart. You will learn to control your emotions and find the wisdom to accept that which you cannot change. You will gain a deeper level of emotional maturity when this card appears. You will become calmer, more sympathetic to others and you will be more tolerant. As a person, the King of Cups is caring, affectionate and empathetic. He is a good listener, diplomatic and easy going. He is the type of older male who will give you sound advice and act as a calming influence in your life. He usually has light hair and has few, if any, enemies, as he is well liked and gets along with the majority of people. He may lack the drive to pursue material wealth as he is more focused on the emotional side of life. He is very family orientated.

I thought to myself ‘This can’t be right. This deck is relatively new and these cards are right next to each other,’ so I decided to reshuffle vigorously for several minutes. I was going to pull cards again, focusing on the same question. When I was just about ready to stop, three cards jumped out of the deck! Guess which ones?

Jumpers: Page of Cups (reversed), Ace of Cups (reversed) and King of Cups

Shit! Add the Page of Cups (reversed)… OK. 😞

The Page of Cups (reversed) is not a great omen as it can bring bad news. (For instance, you could find you fall in love with someone who does not return your feelings or you may find that a social event you have been looking forward to is cancelled.) Whatever form this news takes, it could possibly cause sadness, disappointment, heartbreak, and sorrow. The reversed Page of Cups indicates descent into emotional instability, taking the form of obsession, envy or vindictiveness. The Page of Cups reversed can also represent shattered innocence, emotional wounds and broken dreams; it may simply indicate that you have lost touch with your inner child or that some unresolved childhood issues are resurfacing. If representing a person, it can indicate a young person, child or person who is young at heart, who is overly obsessed with superficial body image while ignoring their inner emotions or someone who engages in attention seeking behavior, or is a bit of a drama queen.

I knew.

I am so thankful to the Tarot for that “head’s up!” It told me in advance that I should be prepared, and I did start preparing, although you are really never prepared to lose a parent. It’s a terrible, terrible loss. It takes part of you with it, the very part that defines you, the part that makes you who you are. I know my daddy wants me to be happy. I have always known that my dad just wants me to be happy, and so I am happy!

I was blessed to have a beautiful dad, a dad who left no need for any other daddy! (In fact, I have always had a problem with men trying to control me. I have told them all, “ I have got a really fucking awesome daddy, which means that I don’t need another one.”) And I am so proud of the person that he was, the person that will always live inside of me…and I am so very grateful that he was mine. ❤️

God Bless.

❤️Shilo

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