To be perfectly honest, this project has given me more than I could’ve hoped for. Over the four years that it took to create, (avoidance, maybe?!?), I healed so many past traumas, many of which were beyond my own conscious awareness. I’m happy to say that I’m not the girl that started this project anymore. I have evolved; transcended the pain that kept me stuck. Working with the deck in this fashion (non- dominant hand drawing and journaling) has facilitated growth from the inside, and though nobody can see it, they can definitely tell the difference in the way that I respond to them.
Just yesterday, a very dear friend of mine activated my Chironic wound through something she said via text message. I felt she treated me like I wasn’t good enough and that she was insinuating that I was lying. That activated that little thought in my head that has always plagued my mind, telling me that I am unworthy. She and I have gone round after round in the past, and my first thought was to tell her to “fuck off,” and then never talk to her again. She has no filter, and sometimes she isn’t nice. She can be downright mean.
(She’s a double Aries, and in my natal chart, Chiron resides in my 9th house in Aries. I have realized that Aries activates my Chiron wound every time. This is the reason I mostly avoid people with Aries placements. My mom is also an Aries… go figure.)
Instead, I thought about it for hours, and before I went to bed, I texted her to tell her that she had hurt my feelings. I knew she wouldn’t care and she would never apologize, but I wanted to clear my heart space, and so I told her that I felt her words were hurtful. Of course, she made me feel small for having feelings.
Rather than explode, I told her that I’m sorry that she’s upset that I have feelings, and I ended the conversation. She went on to say that my feelings are stupid. I ignored. Even though we are not talking now, (her choice…), I’m proud of myself for handling it from my heart, rather than from my head. I’ve grown. I’m finally feeling like an adult, rather than a grown up child.
I feel like I keep my head about me now, rather than reacting immediately. After doing inner child work, I now think for a long time before I ever react, and I also try to see things from different perspectives, other than the one that I’m carrying at the moment.
That transformation, alone, is worth it’s weight in gold to a gal with a trucker’s mouth. (I know this about myself. It’s no secret. I don’t even have to talk, my feelings write themselves right across my face. My mom used to say it would get stuck like that! Boy, was she right!) 😂
This realization tells me I am on the right path. If I stop and think before I emotionally react to someone now, I have solved a lifelong problem. I mean, there is never any perfect here and there never will be, but if I even do this once a week, I’m winning. The answer is “YES! The deck works!”
If I could give everybody this deck, I totally would. But I’m not rich, unfortunately. 🤷🏼♀️💋 But if I was rich, I would totally gift it to you!
This project will go live on February 19. Until then you can follow it, and Kickstarter will notify you when it does go live. I have a great exclusive Kickstarter deal, as well as an early bird discount. Both are limited! Don’t miss it.
Whether you pledge or not, whether you support any of my other projects or not, thank you for reading this far and spending that time here. For those pledging, I can not thank you enough for helping me bring these projects to life. It is incredibly meaningful to see something I’ve made in someone else’s hands, and for it to be a part of their well-being journey. It is genuinely an honor to be making this deck, and I am very grateful. Thank you.