My dad has been in ICU for a week now. He has to a have a defibrillater implanted into his heart tomorrow morning, while his blood pressure stays at a very low rate. Iām worried. I am so fucking scared of facing life on Earth without him. I canāt stand the thought of losing him, but I know that I cannot be selfish and that everything is not always about me. But how do I live without him? Who do I call when Iām hurt, and I need the one, (the only one), who has always picked me up?
Heās always been my āgo to.ā My man. My protector. My reminder. My daddy.
So Tonight, Iām drawing out my emotions, not wanting the night to end. Because that brings tomorrow. And then itās here. And so is uncertainty, and all I know is that I am petrified. I am so fucking scared for tomorrow to come, bringing another surgery, because my dad wasnāt doing well today.
Drawing doesnāt even help tonight, as I canāt stop thinking of my parents, both trying to sleep amidst the noise of the hospital. God bless my mama. She needs to get some rest. And so does my daddy, but not too much!
And now I must lay my own head to rest so that I can deal with this emotional roller coaster again tomorrow. š³šā¤ļø Please say a little prayer for our grieving hearts.